The Shalla Women

Srinagar, Kashmir - I find myself having a hard time with the role of the women in the Shalla Family - and presumably every other Muslim family in Kashmir.
They wait on the men like slaves. The men don't even acknowledge the women when they serve them. It's quite revolting.
The other day Monzoor told me that many Western women fall in love in Kashmir and never leave. Whenever I head out to town, he says: "Don't come back married!"
That, I guarantee, is not a worry.

The daughter-in-law: I never saw her out of the kitchen except do laundry. She doesn't speak but a few words of English, but she is incredibly friendly. She's always motioning me to come join her in the kitchen. It must be a lonely life, the one she leads.


The matriarch: A hobbled 65, who is none the less subservient to all the males in the house, including the defiant 9-year-old grandson. She can't speak English either, but she has warm, earnest eyes. She often sits real close to me just studying my face and smiling when I make eye contact. She always wants me to have tea.



The sister: She was on holiday and therefore had a break from the daily chores of the home of her husband's family. Normally she would be the kitchen slave like her sister-in-law. Still, she spent a good portion of her "holiday" waiting on the men. She's taken a few days to warm up to me. I wasn't sure at first how much English she understands, but I now I realize she has a good grasp of the language. She was married at 30 and had the baby a year later. We chat while I play with her 16-month-old daughter, who clearly thinks I'm some weird alien creature from another planet.